Let’s Get Meta

If my life were a fictional TV show, I like to believe that the ratings would be decent, the following would probably enjoy it because of the representation, but the studio would cut it because who wants to watch a show about a disabled, neurodivergent, queer kid? You know, besides the people asking for that kind of representation in the media. I’m just lucky I’m white – the show probably never would have gotten off the ground if I didn’t have that one privilege.

But no, even though I know my show would be short lived and small, I still like to imagine it as an ongoing thing.

Did it start in high school? Or college? It probably would have started way sooner but I like to think it started with junior year as season one cos I don’t wanna deal with the all the shit before that. Plus, starting in high school gives the audience a chance to see me figuring out my sexuality and gender. They’d fall in love with my high school friends and a good portion would be devastated when the relationship everyone wanted me to have in season two (senior year) didn’t happen. (His brief cameo in the season three finale when I get back home from college would cause fans so much excitement).

After season three, there’d be merch of Sigma Kappa Tau and Alpha Psi Omega for the fans who love the groups I’m in. Maybe there’d even be merch for the groups I’m not in, if fans love the characters from them. I bet there’d be Team KT and Team whatever other sorority the fans wanted me to join when I rushed in season three. Oh man, I’d love to read the AUs that came of that.

What would they make of the mental institution arc in season four? Would they say it’s pandering to the mental illness activists or was it given a good build up? I like to believe there was a good build up. After all, there was suicidal thoughts as early as season three, and mentions of depression and anxiety since season one. The autism and Tourette’s would probably be called pandering during the summer after sophomore year (season four part two or season five) even though there’s been hints at it. I doubt the fans would be satisfied with a self-discovery and self-diagnosis plot instead of having that representation right from the start because they’d doubt the legitimacy of the foreshadowing. Whatever, I’m still valid so shut up and take whatever representation you can get.

I wonder what they think of my friends. Anna and I have our self-proclaimed bromance, but what do the fans think of it? There’s gotta be at least a few who ship us, which is weird but inevitable. What do they think of Blake, Anisha, Abby, and Amanda? What do they think of the KTs and the Alpha Psi members?

Do they ship me with anyone? I personally have a few possible ships I’d like to happen this season or the next, but who knows how well that’ll work out because I’m still trying to figure out how to identify a crush. The shipping wars must be intense though, I fixate on people occasionally and mistake it for a crush, so the fans might interpret it that way too.

There’s probably a lot of mischaracterization, but I bet the fans who get the personalities down have some awesome works. Makes me wish I could go to a universe where my life is a TV show and read the fanfiction. I bet there’d be some pretty cool fan art.

I hope the most loved characters are the dogs. All of them. Dogs are so great.

(Ps. If my life really is a TV show and the fans can somehow see this, when you write fanfics of me with a service dog, make it a golden retriever named Jammer Jr. I probably won’t get that in real life so I’m living vicariously through a hypothetical situation. Don’t let me down.)


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