I’m Still A Middle Schooler At Heart

When I was in middle school, I wanted to be a vlogger. (video blogger if you live under a rock or are just super old and don’t know the kiddy lingo) And so, in honor of that, I’m gonna write this how I imagine a transcript would be if I did this as a video.

Picture me (not a guy at the time), 11 years old. The year is– Gimme a sec I forget what year it was when I was 11.

I graduated high school in 2014 and I was 17 then so… 2008? I think?

Let’s go with that. Picture this:

img_4275
Abby and I want my 6th grade photo to become a meme.

THE YEAR IS 2008. I AM AN 11 YEAR OLD WHO DOESN’T KNOW THEY’RE TRANS YET. I THINK YOUTUBE IS COOL AND HAVE A HABIT OF HOLDING DOWN THE SHIFT KEY INSTEAD OF USING CAPSLOCK THAT I WILL NOT BREAK FOR AT LEAST ANOTHER 10 YEARS (hint, I am only 20 right now, it has not been 10 years yet).

Anyway, you get my drift (do you? Who cares?)

YouTube was a HIT back then cos it was only 3 years old and vlogging was such a cool new concept (WOW WE CAN WATCH OTHER PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THEIR LIFE TO IGNORE THAT WE HATE OUR OWN) and this was before YouTube became a sell out and ads became unavoidable and before all my favorite vloggers turned out to be creeps. Vlogging was so cool, and we all wanted to do it. (We still wanna do it, but now we want it for the money and not for the popularity. SELL OUTS.)

I wanted to be a vlogger sooooo bad. Almost as much as I wanted to be a scene kid (thank you Parentals for not letting me go down that embarrassing path). I made videos all the time (deleted now, which I strangely kind of regret?) cos dammit I was gonna be a famous vlogger.

Except I, at 11 years old, was boring af.

I didn’t know about my disabilities, I didn’t know about my gender or sexuality, and I wasn’t interested in mainstream media. I had no small talk skills cos lol it turns out I’m #actuallyautistic and so social cues are a weird thing???? And I didn’t have anything to infodump about because I didn’t really have any special interests at the time. I bored myself. Which is why you’ve never heard of me.

If I were to make videos now, I’d talk about my experiences, try to raise awareness, and let other people going through my situations know that they’re not alone. Also maybe infodump about random things. Kind of like what I try to do here on this not-video-blog. Honestly, I still kind wanna do it. Being a vlogger would be fun and I have the rambling capacity to do it.

There’s just one problem: I never learned how to edit a video and I still get confused when trying to do so. I know how to edit when I type, so I settled for writing. C’est la vie, je suppose. ジェークくん、頑張ってください。

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